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My dad died on the fourteenth of March this year. It was cancer:… - Pig's Miscellany [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Irised J. Pig

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[Apr. 22nd, 2007|08:55 pm]
Irised J. Pig
[Current Mood |Tired]

My dad died on the fourteenth of March this year. It was cancer: malignant melanoma. I've been trying to write out something to tell you all about what a fantastic person he was, but I want so much to write it well that I can't think how to get the words right. He was funny, he was intellectual and full of ideas, he was caring, generous, gentle and incredibly talented, he always tried his hardest to be a good dad to me. He always helped people. He was great to talk to and laugh with - everyone talks about the conversations they had with him, though we can barely remember what we talked about, except for 'everything'.  We were incredibly lucky to have had him with us. I used to lie in bed and listen to him playing his jazz chords on the piano. He used to call me into the kitchen when he was cooking to help him, but all he really wanted was to chat with me. We hunched over the cooker cracking and juggling hot chestnuts we cooked in the frying pan. That's all you have left; snatches of memory. Death isn't about bodies or any dark symbolic crap, all it is is disappearence. A while afterwards, I can't remember how long, I sat up here with this laptop and watched the one Billy Connolly show on the DVD I bought him for Christmas that we'd not seen. You do things alone that you would have done together, and think of them.

Yesterday I wished that I could reach out to him and say, hey, it's going to be alright - me and mum are learning how to support each other. Today was a bad day and I haven't been so sure. Who knows what tomorrow will be like. Tomorrow is the first day of the new semester and I'm worried about uni. People have said 'I don't know how you cope' but all it is is you just keep going.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: moonykins
2007-04-22 11:07 am (UTC)
...I really have no words that could ever... Fuck.

*clings*
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[User Picture]From: irisedpig
2007-04-22 11:17 am (UTC)
*rests head*
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[User Picture]From: allova
2007-04-22 11:24 am (UTC)
He sounds like a wonderful person.

I hope your tomorrow will be a better day.
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[User Picture]From: irisedpig
2007-04-30 08:41 am (UTC)
Thank-you.
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[User Picture]From: freudian_lisp
2007-04-22 12:02 pm (UTC)
I wish I could write something meaningful or clever, but there really aren’t any words.

I’m sorry
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[User Picture]From: itsthesheppy
2007-04-22 02:35 pm (UTC)
I have no parallel experience to draw from, so I'm afraid my ability to comfort is somewhat lacking. All I can say is you're a wonderful person, so his legacy will, at least, live on in you.
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[User Picture]From: irisedpig
2007-04-30 08:42 am (UTC)
Thank-you. I hope I can make something of myself that he'd be pleased about.
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[User Picture]From: poor_toms_acold
2007-04-22 09:50 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry to read this. My condolances.
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[User Picture]From: dejalemming
2007-04-23 09:09 am (UTC)
I'm so, so sorry, Irised. I know we only know each other through GAFF, but if you ever need anything, to vent or to talk or help with your uni work, let me know. *big hugs*
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[User Picture]From: irisedpig
2007-04-30 09:45 am (UTC)
Wow, thank-you so much. That's so good of you to say.
I'd like to take you up on it actually - the talking bit, I mean if you're on IM and stuff and we're online at the same time. I guess it sounds kind of silly, but it'd be awesome just to have another person to chat to.
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[User Picture]From: dejalemming
2007-04-30 03:35 pm (UTC)
Books99 on AIM. I keep some weird hours, especially as finals loom large, but I'm usually good for a chat.
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[User Picture]From: miss_kitsune
2007-04-23 09:45 am (UTC)
*hugs Bella*
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[User Picture]From: thezahir
2007-04-24 01:50 am (UTC)
I am so sorry.
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[User Picture]From: beanstew
2007-04-25 08:07 am (UTC)
You can always come to me if you ever need to. Sorry if I haven't been there for you enough as a friend and, again, I can't even express how sorry I am about your Dad. ♥
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[User Picture]From: irisedpig
2007-04-30 09:47 am (UTC)
Thank-you ... I will, and it really has been so good to get a hug and be able to talk to you. <3
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