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Irised J. Pig

[ website | Sub standard scribblings ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

I'm writing a series! (Hint: It Is Firefly) [Nov. 19th, 2010|09:01 pm]
Irised J. Pig
[Current Mood |Baffled]

1) Create a back-story about a universe where China was/is a dominant power
2) Make the cast swear in Chinese & go to Chinese run bars, put Chinese writing on things all over the place
3) Get distracted and wander off for drinks
4) ???
5) Profit
6) Oh fuck I forgot Chinese people
7) Oh well

Maybe like a month after the series wrapped he was like OH GOD I WAS GOING TO DO A CHINESE THING SHIT
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*dies laughing* [Dec. 19th, 2007|09:55 pm]
Irised J. Pig
[Current Mood |STIMULATE! STIMULATE!]

Text not work safe! Badfic = <3Collapse )
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Oh, god! [Dec. 5th, 2007|01:18 pm]
Irised J. Pig
[Current Mood |Laughing]

I just sent off an email in which I misspelled my own first name.

This is a new low...
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(no subject) [Dec. 3rd, 2007|08:58 am]
Irised J. Pig
[Current Mood |Fine]

Livejournal isn't a social networking site or journalling service or whatever.

It's a machine whose sole function is to allow you to locate depressed people.

It files them on your friendslist.
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Pigeon [Nov. 18th, 2007|12:36 am]
Irised J. Pig
[Current Location |Lost in the quicksand that is metaquotes]

This was apparently saved as a draft in here: "I'm going off lj until I manage to turn into a funtioning human being again. Yesterday councillor said to me he thought I was coping fine. As if to perversely prove him wrong, since then that I've proceeded to be insanely angry in a way I've never been before in my life."

... hoo boy, it's been a LONG time since eljay!

Anyway, so those who know me know I kind of have this thing where I keep finding these goddamn injured or orphaned birds. And if course I can't just ignore them, so oh hello again my old friends Where The Hell Is A Cardboard Box and Can You Get Some Jellimeat On The Way Home, Yes Another One, Fine Then I'll Just Get It Myself and Can I Use A Spoon As A Splint. Rinse and repeat as required. So anyway, I have this thing with birds, yes? Keep bloody turning up?
And so today I am slowly riding my horse up the road. And this pigeon flies down and lands in front of us. RIGHT in front of us. Smack bang.
I stop the horse.
The pigeon stands there. And then he very deliberately turns around and starts slowly limping across the road in front of me. Slowly. With the lame leg turned to face me. And I'm like
"..."
And he's like "Look at my injury! Look at it! I am injured!"
And I'm like "Oh WHAT IS THIS. What am I, fucking Doctor Doolittle now, you're coming to me? YOU'RE JUST FLAUNTING THIS NOW."
And then he flew away.

And that is my story.
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(no subject) [Apr. 22nd, 2007|08:55 pm]
Irised J. Pig
[Current Mood |Tired]

My dad died on the fourteenth of March this year. It was cancer: malignant melanoma. I've been trying to write out something to tell you all about what a fantastic person he was, but I want so much to write it well that I can't think how to get the words right. He was funny, he was intellectual and full of ideas, he was caring, generous, gentle and incredibly talented, he always tried his hardest to be a good dad to me. He always helped people. He was great to talk to and laugh with - everyone talks about the conversations they had with him, though we can barely remember what we talked about, except for 'everything'.  We were incredibly lucky to have had him with us. I used to lie in bed and listen to him playing his jazz chords on the piano. He used to call me into the kitchen when he was cooking to help him, but all he really wanted was to chat with me. We hunched over the cooker cracking and juggling hot chestnuts we cooked in the frying pan. That's all you have left; snatches of memory. Death isn't about bodies or any dark symbolic crap, all it is is disappearence. A while afterwards, I can't remember how long, I sat up here with this laptop and watched the one Billy Connolly show on the DVD I bought him for Christmas that we'd not seen. You do things alone that you would have done together, and think of them.

Yesterday I wished that I could reach out to him and say, hey, it's going to be alright - me and mum are learning how to support each other. Today was a bad day and I haven't been so sure. Who knows what tomorrow will be like. Tomorrow is the first day of the new semester and I'm worried about uni. People have said 'I don't know how you cope' but all it is is you just keep going.
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(no subject) [Feb. 27th, 2007|11:22 pm]
Irised J. Pig
PS - If I wore a fursuit, and it was a pig, would that mean it'd be called a bristlesuit? And if I wore a naked mole rat fursuit, would that be a skinsuit and sound far too weird and creepy?
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(no subject) [Feb. 27th, 2007|11:04 pm]
Irised J. Pig
[Current Mood |Exhausted to delirium]

Tonight I feel that it is vitally important to tell the internet at large, or at small considering my readership, that my mouse is screwed. And buggered. And all other interestingly sexual metaphors for non-function. Yes, unfortunately for my mouse, it has not actually been lucky enough to partake in a little rumpy-pumpy with another wee grey and red morsel of software. It is just a sad and simple fact that it's on-screen pointer arrow thing has take great exception to being directed. It chooses to express this dissatisfaction by travelling in the opposite direction that the mouse goes. This is obviously stressful for the mouse pointer trekking rebelliously the wrong way across the screen like that, so it lets off tension by having a few casual epileptic fits every minute. Unfortunately, perhaps due to it's grande mal activity, it is deaf to my usual expletive-laden threats and curses. And so I shall use my tablet as a mouse, and perform even the most mundane of on-screen activities with the dramatic swooping arm movements truly befitting an artist.
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Commercial radio has it's moments [Feb. 14th, 2007|10:46 pm]
Irised J. Pig
"So are you doing anything for valentines?"
 "Yup. I'm going golfing."
"With your wife?"
"No."

WELL DONE THAT MAN
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Various things I feel like saying [Feb. 10th, 2007|07:54 pm]
Irised J. Pig
[Current Mood |Upbeat]
[Current Music |Give me a chance to hold on]

1) I have to apologise to anyone who friended my journal because they thought I was funny and/or otherwise entertaining.

Sorry.

2) This is my last day as a teenager. Interesting. I feel like I should do something to commemorate the occasion, like ... throw a tantrum.

3) I forgot my own birthday. I didn't actually realise what day it was tomorrow until my mum said something about it. I was amazed. I had no idea. I didn't even register that that was why we have friends coming over tomorrow night.
Go me!

4) Onto less interesting stuff, as of today I have one (1) pierced ear. It is a sparkly stud (I wanted a ring but there wasn't much choice) and you may be amazed to find out that the sparkly is green. Green. Me. Who would ha' thunk it?

5) Don't smoke or go out without suntan on, bitchez. Cancer is so absolutely awful - and so devastating for those who care about you - that no minor gain by doing those things can possibly be better than risking it. Believe me on this one.

6) Pancakes with fruit

7) Rich text neither sucks nor blows, because it is utterly incapable of giving pleasure.
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